Navigating through challenging conversations
Within our groups, we will all encounter certain topics which create passionate dialogue. Whether it is politics, social issues, relationship & personality dynamics, theological interpretations or even sports…the diverse opinions within a small group can sometimes spill over to conflict or hurt feelings. As group leaders, the conflicting opinions & personalities of group members can become an intimidating problem to tackle.
With this in mind, here are a few guidelines for how to handle potential conflict over sensitive issues within a group:
Know your group members: Prior to introducing a potentially sensitive topic, it’s important to gain an understanding of how each individual within your group may view a sensitive topic. Make time to connect with each individual & gain their insight. It will help to set the context for a broader group conversation and avoid unexpected landmines.
Set firm ground rules: We have a simple rule for our group which we reiterate prior to these conversations. Our group exists to strengthen the harmony between fellow believers; not divide or create conflict. We are not a playing field for hot button arguments or lectures. You can play that game somewhere else. If someone’s opinion starts to dominate discussion or make other members uncomfortable, it will get shut down.
Remain neutral: As leaders, we usually have our own opinions on the sensitive topics discussed in our group. But as moderators, it is important that we gracefully guide conversations with a neutral hand. This skill encourages respect & understanding within a group of diverse opinions.
Redirect opinions back to Scripture: It’s easy for debates to become lost in opinions, hearsay or anecdotes…rather than truth. If you find that your group has veered too far off course with a certain topic, quickly redirect back to Scripture. Ensure that you are prepared with a few Scripture references before each meeting to provide a steady spine for the conversation.
Pray: Whether before, during or after difficult group conversations; there is no better way to unify & ground a group than through prayer. It is our continual resource to reconnect with the Holy Spirit, and we should use it frequently when our groups tackle a sensitive topic.
Hopefully, these guidelines encourage your group to courageously address…rather than avoid…the unique conversations which God wants us to unpack together. Tom and Rachael Knauer